How to Scare Therapists and Have Fun Doing it
by mischief-manager00
Summary: Team   Therapy   Camp   MASS CHAOS! Including are: canoes, CIA, looney tunes and poker! Pairings: JIBBS, TIVA, MCABBY. Changed the title, used to be Therapy and Team Building for the team. name change NCISninja12
1. Big News

**The Team Goes to Therapy and Team Building**

_**Director's Office**_

"Jen…"

"No Jethro, your team Ducky and Abby have to go. SecNav's orders."

Jenny picked up the ringing phone. _ Why the hell do we have to go to therapy? Kate's been gone over a year, I've been back long enough to remember why I left in the first place. Why? _ Jenny was scowling as she put down the phone.

"Looks like I'm coming with you." Gibbs smirked.

"Well Madame Di-rect-oorr. You can help me tell my team. And explain to them why we are going." Gibbs chuckled as Jenny stormed out and he followed.

_**Bullpen**_

"Tony, stop it or I will kill you with this paperclip." Ziva growled as yet another paper ball whizzed past. Tony was acting like a 5 year old, sitting there grinning stupidly and throwing paper balls at her. And McGee was no help, just sitting there with the Bambi eyes as Abby had called them.

"Hmmm, I think I'll pass… OW!" Tony shrieked in surprise. "What the?" Tony rubbed the back of his head. He looked behind him to find the source of the paper. It was Gibbs walking down the stairs with the Director next to him.

"DiNozzo." Gibbs growled.

"Right, stopping now boss." Tony yelled to his boss. "This can't be good." He whispered to Ziva and McGee. "AH!" Tony yelped as a hand connected with the back of his head.

"DuhNozzo, David call Ducky and Abby and tell them to get their butts up here now."

"Right away boss." "Okay, Gibbs."

A few minutes later Abby, Ducky and the rest of the team were congregated in the bullpen. "Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! What's going on? Something important, you never call me or Ducky up!"

"Abbs, breathe. Yes we have some important news." The whole team looked puzzled.

"Your team and I will be going to a team retreat. This will involve therapy, which you must attend, survival training, team building and other activities. The FBI team will be there as well. No complaining." The field agents all groaned, but Abby seemed excited and Ducky fairly interested.

"Jennifer, when and how long will this be?"

"We leave tomorrow and then we stay there for two weeks."

"What! Who's going to director and our cases?" Yelled Gibbs, clearly he had not been informed.

"Leon Vance will take my place and another team will take your place."

"Um, Director, just out of curiosity, why do we have to do this?" asked DiNozzo.

"SecNav's orders."

"Jen, is there nothing you can do?" Asked Ziva clearly hoping for some sort of loophole.

"No, Ziva." Everyone looked very put out by this. Except for Abby.

"Comeonguysit'llbesomuchfun. Won'! YAY!" Shouted Abby.

"I mean it could be worse."

"Really Mah Gee, how?"

"I dunno."

"Jethro, Ducky will you come with me." And Jen led them to her office and closed the door.

"Everyone done to 'Labby'!" Abby shouted skipping away happily, pigtails swinging wildly. McGee quickly followed. Tony shrugged his shoulders and walked off. Ziva followed but had felt awkward with Abby since the incident, but came none the less.

_**Labby (Abby's Lab)**_

"Aren't you guys so excited!" yelled Abby. _Yes, finally a time to put scheme GTVJGT (Get Tony/Ziva and Jen/Gibbs Together) into action. First I'll need to persuade McGee, then… _She had definitely had one to many Caf-Pow!s today.

"She is bouncing off the halls." Ziva muttered to Tony.

Tony smiled at her mistake. "It's bouncing of the walls." Ziva blushed slightly.

"Oh whatever Tony." _I love it when he corrects me. In fact I love him, I just wish I could tell him._

"I hate therapists" groaned McGee. Tony smirked.

"Ooo. Do we have a McScaredyPants? What traumatic experience got our little McGoo in to the therapist?" Tony would never let him live this down.

"Look I was 6, my hamster died right in front of me. A wood pecker attacked it."

"That's very special, McWoodpecker." Tony said patting McGee on the shoulder sarcastically.

"Lay off my little Timmy. I think it's very sweet." Everyone got up to leave. " Wait, the real reason I called everyone down here was… I need everyone's help."

"With what?"

"Getting Gibbs and Jenny together." Tony and McGee looked at each other and shrugged. But Ziva was unsure, she wanted to protect her friend, but she and Gibbs were perfect for each other.

"Fine. But just be careful, those are two vey dangerous people." Abby nodded and began explaining her scheme to them. But Tony and Ziva only knew the half of it.

_**The Director's Office**_

The 3 older adults walked into Jenny's spacious office. " Jethro, Ducky, I hope this trip will be fine."

"Jen, relax. We just have to keep an eye on David and DiNozzo. That's all."

"I agree with both of you. This reminds me of a time when…" And with that Gibbs walked back to his desk. _This is going to be a long two weeks._

_**Bullpen**_

Gibbs sat at his desk for awhile waiting for his agents. Then he heard the **DING **and Ziva, Tony, and McGee walked over.

"What were you doing?"

"Dicussing ways to scare the therapist."

"Ah. Well you all go home, get back and get here tomorrow morning before 700."

"Anything is specific we should bring, boss?"

"Ya, DiNozzo, camping stuff, not nice stuff, workout stuff. Ya get the general picture?"

Gibbs walked off towards the elevator. His team followed suit quickly. Time to pack for an interesting trip.


	2. Welcome to Camp Paddington

**Chapter 2: Welcome to Camp Paddington**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. But my birthday is in 2 weeks so I am hoping that it will be in a pretty little box. **

_**Outside of NCIS **_

Jenny Sheppard was the first one there in the morning. It was mid-April and the temperature was around 70 degrees. She was wearing jeans, a green sweater and a plain t-shirt. But even more unusually a pair of tennis shoes. Jenny sat on her large suitcase for around 10 minutes, and then Gibbs arrived. He walked around his car to grab a large duffel bag.

"Hello Jethro." Gibbs nodded back. He was sporting a pair of light jeans and an NIS sweatshirt. Gibbs was covered in sawdust. _I wonder if he spent the night in his basement again. _ The pair stood in silence. But not for long, Abby and McGee pulled up almost simultaneously. Abby hopped out of her car and ran to her trunk and pulled out two things, a large, spiky trunk and a large cooler. McGee pulled out a dark green duffel bag.

"Boss, Director. Lovely morning." McGee stated.

"Abs, what's in the cooler?"

"Well bossman, it is holding enough Caf-Pow! For the whole 2 weeks!"

"Abby, did you bring something other then platforms?" Jenny questioned looking at the younger woman's shoes.

"Yes, Timmy made sure I had hiking boots and tennis shoes." Abby's face was contorted between a smile and a scowl. Gibbs smiled at McGee.

Around 3 minutes later Ducky pulled up in his old car. "Good Morning Everyone." He was replied with a chorus of 'Good Morning, Ducky'.

"Where the hell are DiNozzo and Ziva?"

"I haven't heard from either of them. This is normal for Tony, but not Ziva. But they have 5 more minutes." McGee added checking his watch.

"Well they better hurry up."

"Someone's getting a little impatient. I thought you didn't want to go?"

Just then Tony's car pulled up, containing him and Ziva. Gibbs scowled at the sight. Abby, McGee and Jenny giggled at the looks at Tony and Ziva's faces. They hurriedly pulled out their bags and ran over.

"Boss, we can explain."

"Gibbs, my car broke down and it was too late to call anyone else…" Ziva was cut off by the look Gibbs gave her.

"Okay, well now that everyone is here, we should to go this camp. There are two cars just over there." Jenny pointed out two cars.

"Zivers and I will drive to save time."

"Boss, I want to live." Toney winched as his bosses hand collided with the back of his head.

"Yeah DiNozzo and I want to get there before next year." Tony looked over at McGee and Abby. They just shrugged, they knew that Gibbs was not in a happy Gibbs mood, but was he ever.

"Me and Ducky will go with Gibbs." Jenny and Ducky grabbed their stuff and walked to the car. "After driving in Europe with her it makes Gibbs's driving seem like a grandmas." Ducky chuckled softly at the Director's muttered comment.

Tony decided that if he was riding with her he might as well get shotgun. "Dibbs on shotgun." Tony yelled expecting someone to object, but no one did. Tony grabbed his bag and threw it in the trunk, being wary of Abby's spiked bag.

In the car, McGee and Abby were setting up some sort of movie. _This is going to be a long car ride, well figuratively. _

_**In Ziva's Car**_

Ziva slammed on the gas and the car shot forward like a bullet. Abby, McGee and Tony all screamed. "AHHHHHHH!" This went on for 10 minutes until they were out of the city. The car went smoothly along the freeway.

McGee and Abby tried to watch a movie, but it didn't work out well. They just sat back and listen to Ziva and Tony argue. Abby texted McGee: 'Record this on your phone, we have to show this to the others!' McGee obliged.

"Ziva, you drive like a crazy person!"

"No, I drive fast."

"Ziva, you are not Speed Racer,"

"Speed Racer?"

"The cartoon character."

"Oh whatever."

"Guys! We need to stop at the next gas station!"

"Why Abby?"

"I AM OUT OF CAF-POW!" At this Ziva sped up the car and pulled into the station. Gibbs Followed her in.

"Ziver, why the pit stop?"

"Caf-Pow!" That was all that was needed.

_**Gibb's Car**_

"I am worried about Tony and Ziva."

"Why?"

"Jethro, you should know."

"Jen, Ducky would ya mind elaborating."

"Jethro, there's enough tension between them to cut with a knife."

Gibbs scowled. "Rule 12."

"Ah. Of course. This reminds me of a time…" Ducky talked for the rest of the way.

_**Ziva's Car**_

"So close to solid ground." Tony yelled. McGee and Abby sighed in relief. Two reasons: 1) Ziva's driving, 2) Tony and Ziva argued the whole way.

"Grow high, Tony."

"Zee-vah, it's grow up." Ziva rolled her eyes.

"If you two are done flirting, look there's the camp." Abby pointed to the wooden sign, reading: 'CAMP PADDINGTON'.

_**Entrance to Camp Paddington**_

"Hello, I am Camille Byrd." Ziva sniggered at the name.

"And I am Felix Love." A slight woman with straight brown hair and a man with curly red hair were waiting as they pulled out their suitcases. "This way to the dorm." He led them to a building.

They walked into the building. "Girls have one double room and a single. Boys have a double and two singles."

Abby and Ziva took the double and Jenny took the single. Gibbs and Ducky each had their own room. This left Tim and Tony.

"Okay, everyone you have 15 minutes to get settled then back out."

_**Abby and Ziva's Room**_

"This is going to be so much fun." Abby was bouncing around the room. "Ooo, there's a t.v." Abby ran over and flipped it on. "Where's the remote and buttons? Ooo, Hogan's Heroes, I think that's the only thing it plays."

"Hogan's Heroes?"

"Yeah, it's this old show. There are POWS in a POW camp and they are underground group."

"Hmmm." Ziva and Abby settled down on their beds.

"This is episode one. They must have this for some reason."

15 minutes later, Abby and Ziva walked back into the common room.

_**Common Room**_

"Hello again, Me and Felix will be your councilers. You will meet your therapist tomorrow. Right now is dinner then free time." And with that they walked out.

**A/N: Please review. I am very happy with this chapter. I might post again tonight. Now I'm getting a Twinkie! **


	3. Pycho Therapist and Muddy Courses

_**Chapter 3**_

_**A/N: The whole thing with Hogan's Heroes is random. You can look it up to understand more about it.**_

_**Common Room**_

"How about instead of going to the camp dinner. I make it?"

"Sure, Zivers."

Tony ran over to the TV and flipped it on. He was expecting to have sports or something. "Hogan's Heroes that old TV show? Ah well it's good."

Ziva was busy in the kitchen. She quickly made pasta and sauce.

"Dinner's ready." Everyone scurried to the table. The food was wolfed down in seconds.

After a half an hour of dinner, everyone went to their rooms.

_**Abby and Ziva's Room**_

Abby pulled a pair of black footie pjs out. Ziva slipped into sweats and a tank top.

"I'm so excited for tomorrow. It's going to be so much fun." Ziva rolled her eyes and went to bed.

_**Next Morning: Breakfast Hall. **_

The team dragged itself to the breakfast hall. Tony whined about it and Ziva punched his shoulder to shut him up. Ducky was entertaining Jenny and Gibbs with a story. And Abby and Tim were talking about the new iPhone.

"Ooo, yay pancakes, eggs, bacon and muffins!"

Tony led the way to the food very quickly, in a way only DiNozzo could, and began loading his plate up.

Once the whole team was seated they began to eat. The food wasn't bad. But the team became less hungry when Felix and Camille came over to deliver a message.

"Hi guys, after this you have therapy then a team building exercise. Your therapists name is Dani Hartley. Have fun!" And the pair walked away.

Tony leaned in to Ziva. "I've been meaning to ask you. Why did you laugh when she introduced herself?"

Ziva looked at Jenny who grinned, clearly understanding. "Tony, her name basically means Perfect Bird." The whole table cracked up. Time for therapy!

_**Therapy**_

The team dejectedly walked into the room labeled: 'Therapy'. Inside was a young man with shoulder length brown hair and brown eyes. He looked as if this was the best moment of his life. "Hello, I'm Dani! I will be your therapist! I am so happy to meet you all today we will be doing introductions!" Ziva and Gibbs looked like they were deciding which would be the most efficient way to kill him.

"Okay, let's see here we have a Leroy Gibbs," Gibbs raised his hand. Dani ran over to him and gave him a big hug. "It's so good to meet you Leroy!" The team sniggered; this man obviously had some sort of painful and slow death wish. This continued for everyone. This man was very lucky they had taken Ziva's gun, but they hadn't taken her knife. She was considering it.

"Okay now everyone sit in a circle and we will talk about our selves!" The team groaned, but obliged. "I will go first. I'm Dani. My life goal is to free all the unicorns and destroy scissors. I love to frolic in meadows and play tea with teddy bears. Now Ziva you go." The whole team was gagging, and Ziva had a look on her face that she was planning something.

"I an Ziva. I am a trained assassin. I know hundreds of ways to kill people and enjoy doing it. I spend my free time at the shooting range and that is about it." Dani looked very scared. Now it was Tony's turn.

"I'm Tony. I like to drive cars and watch the gas. Gas is the best! I like movies a lot!" Dani looked if possible even scareder. McGee's turn.

"I am McGee. I can hack anything. I also write books about my coworkers!" Dani nodded thinking that he might be normaler. Abby went next.

"I am Abby. I sleep in a coffin, over use caffine, wear a lot of black and collect pictures of blood splatters." The look on Dani''s face was pricless. Ducky went next.

"I'm Ducky. I talk to dead people while I cut them open." Time for Jenny.

"I'm Jenny. I am the director."

Gibbs wouldn't talk. "Come on Leroy. Your turn."

"Gibbs, former marine sniper, married 3 times."

"Okay! Yay now we all know each other better. Now we are going to talk about your first case. Tim, you can go first."

"Um Okay. It was the one with a dead body in acid and it was all mushy and melted looking." Dani was gagging.

"Ziva, your turn."

"Wasn't that civil war case with the body in the casket and the anthropologist did it?"

"Yes my dear. I remember that one as you saved my life."

"Yeah. Me, McSlow and Gibbs came up and you had a knife in the crazy lady and the two guys on the ground."

"'And you said: 'Remind me not to mess with her."

"What you heard that?"

"Yes." Dani was looking at Ziva like she was crazy.

"Okay, we're done with that now. How about our favorite gift as a child?"

"My first knife." (3 guesses who.)

"James Bond movie."

"First computer."

"Coffin."

"Pair of stilettos."

"Book on dead bodies."

"A pair of scissors." Dani gasped.

"Did you… run with them?" Gibbs slowly nodded. Dani screamed like a 4 year old girl.

"Now you have your team building exercise." Dani strolled over to his desk and started muttering. "Running with scissors, tut tut, first I have to burn all of them in the dead of night…" The team was pushing each other away to escape the crazy therapist.

_**Obstacle Course 1**_

"Hi, how was your therapy session?" Felix and Camille were smiling their plastered smile and waking like it would save the world. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"You are going to do an obstacle course…." Taking a dramatic pause, Felix continued. "Tied to a partner!" He and Camille both started clapping and cheering. "Choose your partner!"

Abby immediately grabbed McGee. Ducky sat out. Gibbs and Jenny glared at each other making it clear they were together, but not liking it.

"So… I guess we're partners."

"Tony, we already are partners."

"Right knew that."

Camille was coming around with rope to tie their waists together. Gibbs was glaring at the back of her head. _Wow, I'm surprised Gibbs didn't drill a hole in the back of her head._ Tony chuckled at the thought.

"Everyone will start at once, 1st one out wins. Get ready! 3,2,1, GO!"

Abby and McGee fell as soon as they took a few steps. Jenny and Gibbs were trying to run opposite direction. Ziva pulled Tony to the first obstacle, monkey bars over a small stream.

"Any ideas, tony?"

"Ummm, yeah, I guess, but you aren't gonna like it…"

"Tony! Spew it out! Gibbs and Jenny are coming."

"It's spit it out. And you climb on my back, and I should be able to carry us both across."

"Fine." Ziva hopped on his back and he pulled himself across. Ziva marveled at his strength. Gibbs and Jenny were struggling behind them. Abby was cheering.

They ran to the next obstacle, a narrow bridge leading up a tree. Ziva went first pulling Tony behind her.

"Shit!" One of the pieces behind Tony had broken.

"Come on, Tony."

They made it across but now had to slide down. Tony pulled Ziva into his lap. She squirmed at first, but gave up. The next obstacle was a rock wall. They started climbing at the same time. They made it across okay but still had to take a zip line and not land in a pit of mud.

Tony and Ziva each grabbed a side of the zip line. They sped down and were about to land in the mud, when Ziva pulled them off. They both had made it out with little or no scratches.

Jenny and Gibbs were not far behind them. But both of them were soaking wet and Gibbs was very unhappy.

"Jethro, just shut up it was your fault."

"Yours!

"You are totally unbearable."

"Are you gonna go doppelganger on me?"

"Doppelganger?"

"How am I supposed to know?" They continued fighting until Ducky calmed them down. Felix untied them.

Abby and McGee finally finished. Finished covered in mud, water and other assorted things.

"Finally, McPokeypants!"

"Good job, everyone now you have some free time before your group activity with the FBI."

"Hey I saw a lake wanna go down there?"

"No, not really, maybe another time."

"It wasn't a question." Tony then grabbed Ziva in a fireman's lift and ran away.

**A/N: I don't really like the beginning, but it works. I realize the therapist sounds like one from another story, but he is based off the councilor at my school, who is afraid of scissors. I will be switching off between my two stories each day, so be patient! **


	4. Thththat's the FBI folks!

_**Chapter 4**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or Looney Toons character mentioned. **_

_**A/N: I have had really bad writer's block and this came to me while finishing a 3 mile run, so I was a little bit out of it! Please don't be too mad and become people with pitchforks as me and my friends call people who are extremely angry with us which is not uncommon. Ok I am rambling and should probly get on with it. Here it is!**_

_**Camp Fields**_

After throwing each other in the lake, the younger adults were happy and in dry clothing. Tony had been very close to losing some part of his body, but got out ok.

A young man came jogging up with another permanent smile on his face. The team groaned, another cheery, make you want to shoot them, person.

"Hi everyone! I'm Rudolf Roady! I am so excited to meet you all! I will be helping you will co agency cooperation. First let's do introductions! FBI, as you are the bigger group you can go first!" Tony frowned, _We NEVER ever get the regionition _ for ANYTHING!

"Special Agents Ron Sacks, Sylvester Puddy, Martian Marvin and Carrie Tweet. And our ME and his assistant, Walden Rooster and Elmer Fudge. My name's Fornell." Abby and Tony never got sick of the FBI names.

"Could everyone introduce themselves so I know who you are."

"Sacks."

"I'm Sly-vest-er Puddy." He said spitting and spraying everyone.

"Yees, yees, I am Martian Marvin."

" Why hello, I am Walden Rooster."

"Wi'm Welmer Wudd."

"I'm Tarrie Sweet." Abby and Tony were almost crying.

"What ware wou waughing wat?"

"Do the words Looney Tunes and Mel Blanc ring any bells?" They all shook their heads. Tony gasped.

"Could NCIS introduce themselves?"

"Gibbs."

"Director Jenny Shepard."

"Doctor Donald Mallard. But please call me Ducky."

"Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo."

"Officer Ziva David."

"Special Agent Tim McGee."

"Abby Scuito."

"Okay, now that everyone knows each other, let's go!" Rudolf ran off very quickly. Everyone followed. He led them to an archery/ tomahawk/ knife throwing area.

"This is William Wolf. He is our weapons expert. He and I will be teaching the class."

"Hello, we will start with the knife throwing." He led them over to the area. "Can everyone get a knife?" The NCIS team didn't move over then to pull out their knifes. Gibbs gave Ducky his spare and Ziva gave Abby hers. William was impressed. He demonstrated how to throw it and spread everyone out.

Tony and Ziva were sharing an area right next to Elmer Fudge and Martian Marvin. Tony and Ziva were both very good, obviously, and decided to take a break and watch the pair next to them.

Elmer went and missed. "Woah, warn it!" Tony giggled.

Martian went and missed too. "This makes me very angry, very angry indeed." He said in a gravely voice. Tony was about to pee his pants.

The rest of the team did very well and watched the FBI team struggle with Fornell.

Carrie went, missed and yelled: "I thought I thawt it."

Sylvester did ok. "_Sufferin' succotash!" _Even Gibbs grinned at that.

Walden Rooster failed and gently said: "Oh dear me, maybe I am not cut out for this line of work."

Slacks, did fine and no one cared.

"Next," **Beep.** "We have the," **Beep. **"Tomahawks," **Beep.** "You will learn to throw them." **Beep. **"William will teach you." **BEEEEPP. **Everyone walked over and were taught how to throw a tomahawk. The lesson went just like the previous one. Next was archery.

"Well McScout, this should be right up your street." McGee went and totally beat everyone, which ended with a: "This makes me very angry."

"You can all go back for an hour before dinner."

"Th-th-a-a-at's a-a-a-ll fo-ffoo-llks! Ow! Sorry boss."

_**A/N: I'm really liking this FBI team. The weird spelling, that's supposed to be like the characters. Reveiws are helpful and make me smile. Also that brother bear song, On My Way makes me smile! Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-... That's all, folks. **_


	5. A Web of Confusion, Rules and Family

_**Chapter 5**_

_**Disclaimer: Don't own anything, but I did get the whole series for my birthday yesterday.**_

_**NCIS Dorm **_

"Tony, what was so funny about the FBI names? You always laugh about them, but I never get it." Ziva looked very confused. Tony was still laughing his head off. He nodded to Abby to explain. But she was almost crying. Jenny tried to explain.

"The Looney Tunes are a very famous television show. And the FBI team's names correspond with some of the characters, as do their voices. And Tony here and Abby find this very amusing." Jenny added with a pointed glare. Tony mumbled something in his and Abby's defense.

"Well Jen, it is funny. The Looney Tunes are a bunch of bumbling idiots and so is the FBI team. Point proven?"

"No, Jethro. You and DiNozzo do not make relations much easier. Please try not to aggravate the CIA team. Tony, I know that you find their names amusing, you could maybe make my life easier."

"What Mickey Mouse is here?"

"Tony. Everybody, would you like me to make dinner or should we go eat the food that the camp provides?" A chorus of yes came from the team.

Ziva and Jenny made chicken and mash potatoes. "Everyone, dinner's ready!" Jenny yelled as Ziva set the table. Everyone filed in.

Gibbs sat at the head of one end and Jenny sat on the other. _Gibbs is like a Dad, Jenny a Mom, Ziva's like my older sister, Tony the older brother, Ducky's the grandpa, I'm not sure about Timmy though. _Abby, Tim and Ducky sat on one side, Tony and Ziva on the other.

"Tony, stop it." Tony had tried to touch her leg again. "I advise you to stop that. If you want to keep your hand."

"DiNozzo!"

"Ya, boss?" Gibbs gave Tony a look that could have frozen pick something very hot. (You choose) Tony decided to stop as he enjoyed his hand and the hair on the back of his head.

"Ahh, this reminds me of a time…" Ducky continued telling this to Abby and Tim who were the only ones paying attention.

Jenny and Gibbs were looking into their eyes having a non-verbal conversation.

Tony and Ziva were arguing. "Tony, it is called football."

"Soccer."

"Oh, whatever, I am done. I'm going to take a walk." Ziva took her plate and left. Tony looked as if he wanted to go after her. Gibbs gave him a look to stay put. Tony shrank in his chair. Gibbs looked happy, until Jenny gave a look that said: _You better make this right, NOW!_ Gibbs got up and signaled to Tony to follow. Tony jumped up and followed Gibbs into the common room.

"What's up boss?"

"Rule 12."

"Never date a co-worker. Ya, I know boss. It sucks, but I know."

"It's gone. Done with. Go. Find Ziva. Tell her."

"Thanks, Boss. Thank you so much!" Tony ran off like a little kid on Christmas morning. _Thank God that's off my shoulders, Abby and McGee are going to be happy. Jen…_

_**Outside of the Dorm**_

Ziva walked towards the path in the woods. Her thoughts were centered on Tony. _Does he like me? I wish he would tell me. Stupid rule, Gibbs must have a good reason…_

There was a cracking noise in the woods. Ziva pulled out her knife and turned around. "Who's out there?" No one came out. She continued walking. There was the noise again. "Come out." Ziva secretly hoped it was Tony.

Someone came out, but it wasn't Tony. It was defiantly a guy, but not McGee, Gibbs or even Ducky. The man walked into the small amount of light remaining. It was no other then Slacks.

"Why hello Ms. David. You are very pretty in the moonlight." He went forward to touch her face. She snapped at this. He was lying on the ground with his arm-twisted. Slacks yelled out in pain. But he grabbed her leg. Her head hit the ground hard, Ziva let out a short yelp.

Tony was walking down the path when he heard a yell and a scream/yelp. He started running. Tony saw Gibbs and Jenny running out of the dorm. They ran down the path. It took them 5 minutes to find Ziva and by that time Slacks was on the ground.

"Took you long enough. This good for nothing freak tried to kiss me." Gibbs growled.

"Ya know Slacks, some people (you) are good for nothing other than falling down." Tony started to continue, but Gibbs smacked the back of his head.

"Jen, why don't we take Mr. S**l**acks, to Tobias, I'm sure he would want to know, do ya?"

Jen nodded and turned, but then saw Ziva's head. The back was all scratched and slightly bloody. "Ziva! Jethro, take this imbecile to Tobias. Tony you help him. I'm taking Ziva to Ducky." Tony opened his mouth to object, but decided better.

"No, Jen, I'm fine. Just a little sore."

"Zivers, go with Jen. Don't argue."

Jen took Ziva back, straight to Ducky who was in the common room with Abby and Tim.

"Oh my god! Ziva! I can't believe this! You go out for a walk and you come back bleeding."

"Abby." Abby didn't hear. "Abby! Abs! Ducky, can you check her out?"

"Yes, my dear. Ziva, let's see. You just seemed to be a little scratched up, you will feel fine later after some rest."

"Possibly I should miss the therapy tomorrow?"

"I'm afraid not, my dear."

Gibbs and Tony reappeared. "Tobias was difficult."

"He didn't believe us."

"I wonder why?"

"Oh, probly because DiNozzo decided to crack a joke or 2."

"What? I just…"

"Anthony, could you Abigail and Timothy take Ms. David here to her room?" Ducky asked obviously wanting to talk with the older adults.

"Sure, Duckman." Ziva stood up and almost fell over. Tony caught her and picked her up. "Thank you, Anthony."

"DiNozzo put me down!"

"Zee-vah, you will wipe out."

"Ziva, Tony's right."

"Fine."

_**Abby and Ziva's Room**_

Tony and Ziva were lying with their backs to Ziva's headboard. Abby and Tim were in the same position on Abby's bed.

"Tony, what did you say to the FBI?"

"Well, McClueless, I might of said to Fornell, What's up doc? Apparently that was rude. And yeah, not good."

"Oooo, that's good Tony!" Everyone settled in as the low rumble of the opening credits.

_**Common Room**_

"Jethro, Jennifer. Are either of you two worried about the therapist digging too deep?"

"Nah."

"The therapist… I think he is too dumb. Between everyone I hope he survives us."

"Well, Jen would you care to make a bet?"

"Sure. $10s that we go through… let's say maybe 3."

"I think, with DiNozzo, some where over 10, 12."

"I have to say 13. With young Anthony and Ziva it will be difficult for any therapist to deal with us. Oh dear it is getting late."

"We should go tell DiNozzo and McGee."

The older adults walked into the girl's room. Gibbs growled, but Jenny punched him in the shoulder.

"Just let them be. Jethro…" Jenny added a tone that signaled she was not to be disobeyed.

The reason for Gibbs's discomfort was the fact that Tony & Ziva were asleep on the same bed, same with Abby and Tim.

Jenny and Ducky left quickly, but Gibbs lingered. _This is going to be a long 2 weeks. I hope these boys know that hurting either one of my girls will end very badly and painfully for them…_

**A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed the familyish parts. Will Tony tell Ziva? What does DiNozzo mean by Mickey Mouse? Read to find out! I post as soon as is humanly possible. Reviews are greatly appreciated. And for anyone reading by other story, I seem to have hit somesort of road block in my brain. **


	6. Therapist, take 2

_**Chapter 6: Therapist+ The Team=...**_

_**Disclaimer: I am merely borrowing the characters, but I do plan to return unless they murder another episode.**_

_**A/N: This is really off topic but I was just curious, does anyone else hate CIA Ray and EJ? And does anyone else ever feel guilty watching episodes with Kate? Okay, back on topic, here's the chapter on therapy.**_

_**Ziva and Abby's Room**_

Ziva woke up with a crick in her neck. She felt an arm around her waist. Ziva panicked, but saw it was only Tony. She smiled. Ziva noticed Abby and Tim. _They are so perfect for each other. _

The door opened slowly. Gibbs walked in. He noticed Ziva awake. Gibbs motioned to wake Abby, quietly. Ziva tiptoed over to Abby and woke her up. "Ziva! What!" Ziva motioned to her to be quiet.

"Abs, go get a cup of ice and water." Abby came running back. Gibbs took the cup and walked over to McGee. He slowly tipped the water over his face. McGee snapped up.

"DiNozzo! What the… Boss, Abby, Ziva?" They all shushed him. By this time Jenny and Ducky had come from the kitchen.

"DiNozzo, what'd ya got?"

"Mmmmhh."

"DiNozzo!"

"Mmmmhh."

Ziva leaned down. "Tony, if you don't wake up I'm going to rip off your arm and beat you with it."

"Mmmmhh."

Gibbs and Ziva first lifted Tony on to the ground. Jenny had brought an enough cups of water for everyone. "Madame Di-rec-tor, would you and Duck like to take the first one?" Ducky and Jenny dumped the water on Tony's chest. He shuddered but just moaned. "McGee, Abbs." Abby dumped it down on his legs. Tim, with much relish, poured it on his crotch. "Ziva you go last, just for effect." Gibbs trickled the water all down him. Ziva stood over him and dumped it on his face.

"On your 6 boss!"

"Little bit late for that DiNozzo." Everyone was cracking up. Ziva was still standing over him.

"Why am I wet?"

"Talk to Ziva."

"Gibbs."

"Ziva."

"Tony."

"DiNozzo, David."

"Yes, boss. Ow!" Both said in unison as he headslapped them.

"Um, excuse me. I don't mean to inturupt, but you guys have therapy in 25 minutes." A very scared looking Camille peeked in on the odd family. "Mr. DiNozzo, you might want to change, you seem a little wet."

"Really. I had no idea, thank you so…. Right boss, shutting up now." Gibbs slapped the back of his head. Camille sprinted out

"Everyone, I made some toast and eggs so let's eat quickly. But Tony change."

"Right Madame Director. Ziva."

"DiNozzo." Tony started to talk, but Gibbs gave him a look saying: 'Not yet, not now'.

"Be right back."

_**Kitchen**_

"Wow, Jenny, Thanks! This is really good."

"I learned from the best, Abby." Jenny looked at Ziva. They smiled.

"I'm here, be happy!"

"Ya want us to be happy? Then go back."

"Ah, boss, ya don't mean that?" No response. "Right." No response.

"Ah, this reminds me of a time…" Ducky proceded to tell them a story until it was time to go to the therapist.

_**Therapist's Office**_

"This should be interesting."

"Yes, Anthony, indeed." The team walked in to the office to find that their was a new therapist, another young man.

"Hi! My name's Mac! I am so happy to meet you all. Let's see I know all of your names. We have Leroy." _Die, die therapist with a death wish._ "Jennifer, Donald, Abigail, Anthony, Ziva, and Timothy. We're going to be great friends. Let's get started." _Again I repeat, therapist with a death wish. _ He came up to everyone and gave him or her a hug. Abby gave him a hug back. Jenny and Ducky stood there. Ziva was about to slice off his arms; Tony was giving off that stupid, awkward grimace. Tim was afraid. Gibbs, Gibbs was about to murder, bloody murder this poor guy.

"Now we are all going to draw a person's name and tell a moment with them, we will do this for 5 minutes." He passed the bag to Gibbs. Gibbs pulled out Ducky's name.

"Well there was the time where we 'accidently' blew up that bridge…" Jen gave him a glare, Ducky laughed.

"Ah, yes." It was Ducky's turn. He pulled out Ziva's name. "Remember that time when came down and gave me and Jethro a lecture about assassinations." Ziva smiled at the old Scotsman's comment. Mac looked afraid. Ziva picked Abby's name.

"Do you remember putting that bomb back together?"

"I hated you then, but now I don't."

"Abigail, Why did you hate Ziva?"

"If you have to ask you don't have a right to know."

"Right, now we are going to do a… TRUST FALL!" Everyone groaned. "Ziva, you will start with me." _Let's see I could kill him with a…. _"Abby and Tony, Jenny and Donald, Tony and Leroy. Ziva let's demonstrate!" Ziva stood behind Mac and let him almost fall. Mac stood behind Ziva and as she fell grabbed her butt. Ziva stuck her leg out Mac fell to the floor. Everyone, but Gibbs noticed as he was staring at Jenny, was sneering at him. Life was going to be painful and short for this therapist. _Who is going to kill him first I wonder? Ziva, Gibbs, or Tony? Oooo, I know all of them. _Abby smiled at this thought.

Gibbs was very confused, he knew they hated him but could not understand what happened. So he signed to Abby: _What happened? _Abby responded: _He grabbed her ass._ _Don't hurt him too badly; I don't think they have a therapist replacement warranty. _Gibbs:_ You didn't say I couldn't kill him. But we can traumatize him so he quits. _Abby: _I like the way you think el jefe. _ Gibbs smiled.

Mac was lying on the floor, lying on groaning. Ziva had flipped him on to his back. Jenny pulled her back. "Ziva! Come on. Mac, continue, we will skip this exercise."

"Ugh, now we're going to talk about… what did SecNav want? Ahh, yes for the agents, undercover? Tony, some moments, if you please!"

"Ummm, Ziva remember that time that we were a married assassin couple. That was fun until we got captured. Got punched, what 7 times, Zee?" Ziva nodded. "Then there was that time I was a prisoner, pretty fun."

"I remember her coming down and yelling about a dog. What was that about?"

"Oh, yeah. I told this motorcycle guy that I lost my shitzu named Kate. And I told him she had mangy brown hair."

"Toonneee, that was mean."

"Whatever."

"Ziva, you can go?"

"Fine. My least favorite was being a geek. That guy was a creeper."

Tony interrupted. "After he grabbed your ass, didn't you threaten to rip off his arm and beat him to death with it?"

"Yeah, I think I did. My favorite though, was the undercover assassin one with Tony. You called me sweet cheeks." Tony smiled and nodded.

"Well, then, Leroy, you go."

"Paris." That was all that was needed.

"Jennifer."

"Paris."

"Yay! Now we will sit for 15 minutes and then tell each other about our dreams!"

Tony fell asleep; Ziva sat there watching Tony, Ducky relaxed, and Jenny smiled at Ziva and Tony. Abby and Gibbs had an ASL discussion about the therapist: his mental and physical well-being. And different ways that different people would murder him. At the time Mac called time, Gibbs and Abby were disusing what Ziva could use to kill him with. Their list consisted of: paperclips, the chairs, Abby's necklace, Jenny's shoes, a pen/pencil, a tennis shoes, and of course her hidden knife.

"Oh, that was refreshing! I'm going to tell you about my dream. It started with all of you and we were all playing in a field with unicorns. Then a magic fairy came down and gave us all magical wings and cupcakes! Then…" He continued like this for 10 minutes. "Abby, your turn!"

"Ummm, in my dream we were all playing then you wanted to go swimming and jumped in to a pool of boiling acid!" Mac paled, turned green and sprinted for the door. Tony ran up to Abby and high fived her.

"Nice one Abby! That was like this movie… no …"

"Tony, shut up!" Ziva yelled and punched him in the arm.

"Jethro, I have called the camp to tell them their therapist is going to have some problems. Oh and they said that Dani, our previous therapist kept muttering things about acid, caskets, knifes, assassins and scissors. Apartently, he was deemed unfit."

"Jethro, don't just scare them away so you can win the bet."

"Bet?" Tony's face perked up. "What bet? Ow! Boss, shuting up now!"

"Lake, get swimsuits. Canoeing with CIA."

"Boss, are you sure that's a good idea? I mean they aren't exactly known for their team cooperation." McGee ask clearly worried.

"Well McGee, they are our 'sister agency'." Gibbs smirked at Jenny. Ziva looked at Jenny, confused.

"Yes, McGee, they will be fine, Jethro, I don't know what you have against them."

"Well, Di-rec-tor. They are a lying bunch of bastard."

"Jethro, Jennifer…" Ducky warned. HE signaled for the rest to go get swimming stuff.

_**Dorm**_

"The kiddies don't like it when mommy and Daddy fight." Everyone looked at Abby. "It's so true and you guys know it!" Abby grabbed Ziva's hand and dragged her to their room.

_**Abby and Ziva's room**_

"Zee-vaah, what should I wear?" Abby held up to swimsuits, a black one with sculls, and one with a shiny black material.

"Abby, why do you care, tryng to impress someone, am I right?" Ziva smirked at her friend. "Is it McGee?" Abby blushed.

"Do you like Tony?"

"Your point?"

"We both like them, so I'm saying that it's the same." Ziva rolled her eyes and went to the bathroom to change. Abby texted McGee to meet her in the common room.

Abby bolted out of the room before Ziva could come back.

_**Common Room**_

"Timmy! Okay I have a plan to get Tiva together!"

"Tiva? And won't this get us and them into major trouble?"

"Tony and Ziva put together. Never mind about that. First stage, make sure they are together for everything, same with Jenny and the bossman. They are so perfect for each other!" Abby squealed.

"Abby, who's perfect for each other?" Tony and Ziva had walked in.

"Bradalinga?" Abby muttered.

"Oh, okay."

"Let's go." Gibbs and Jen had come out. Ducky was going to stay, as he was a little bit too old.

_**Lake**_

The CIA team was already there, but it wasn't the CIA team they usally work with. Tony's face fell.

"No, mickey Mouse." Tony pouted. But when he saw a tall blonde woman, his face light up.

"Hello! I'm Jonny, I'm going to be your water sports instructor."

"Director Jenny Shepard, NCIS. This is the team."

"Abby Scuito! Forensics!"

"Special Agent Tim McGee, call me McGee."

"Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo."

"Officer Ziva David."

"Gibbs."

"Okay, could you guys introduce your selves." Jonny pointed to the CIA people.

"Bobby Pokki! I do forensics!"

"Special Agent Griffin Hilbert." The boss said.

"Special Agent Lynn Davidson." The tall blonde smiled at Tony. Ziva insides churned. But Tony only half smiled and moved closer to Ziva.

"Special Agent Kip O'Leary." A man who looked about McGee's equal vent.

"Very Special Agent Matthew Hoffman." He winked at Abby. McGee slipped his arm around her shoulders.

"Lisa Redmond. I'm the ME." She had flaming red hair and smiled at Gibbs. _Crap. She's a red head. Oh, Jethro, how are you so stupid, can't you see me?_ Jen thought as a pain grew in her stomach.

Ducky had come down to watch his coworkers. _Oh dear, this should be very interesting. _He watched as the 3 somewhat couples seemed to have problems with at least one person on the CIA team. _Oh good, Anthony, Ziva should know how you feel. I am so glad Jethro took away rule 12. But he doesn't know that I know… _Ducky settled down to watch his family deal with the CIA. _This should be fascinating. _

_**A/N: I made an extra long one for you guys! For anyone reading my other story I am having really bad writer's block. And I would like to thank **__**StarKiss666 for the idea with the therapist. Oh, and I probley will not have returning therapists to go with the bet. Next chapter will be canoeing with the CIA. And possibly the butt-kicking of our least favorite FBI agent! ;) Does anyone know what episode Tony is talking about with Kate the Shitzu? **_


	7. The Almost Deaths of 'Sister Agents'

**Chapter 7: The Almost Possible Deaths of 'Sister Agents'**

**Disclaimer: Disclaimed.**

_**Canoe Lake**_

"Everyone pair up! With someone from your agency!" Ziva grabbed Tony's hand, instantly. McGee and Abby just kinda gravitated towards each other. Jenny and Gibbs glared at each other. "Now everyone get a canoe." Everyone went to the small shack with all the canoes.

"So Abby, you have lots of tats?" Asked Agent Hoffman. McGee glared.

"Um, yeah." She mumbled in a un-Abby way. Abby thought Hoffman was a creep. He had weird slicked back blonde hair and small, piggy little eyes.

"Where?" He asked eagerly, his eyes raking over her body. Abby shivered. _This dude is a total creeper._ Abby scooted over to where everyone else was talking.

"Jethro!"

"Gibbs!"

"Boss!" Everyone was trying to get Gibbs's attention. He appeared to be ogling the leggy, redheaded ME.

"What?" He asked innocently. Jenny's eyes looked downcast. Ziva smiled softly at her friend. Ziva understood her friend's predicament. Tony was ogling that Davidson person. She was the total opposite of Ziva. Straight blonde hair, fairly tall, skin and bones, pale skin, and bright blue eyes. It wasn't just her appearance, but also her clothes. She wore a loose pink see through dress over her swimsuit. But Ziva wore a tank top and shorts over her swimsuit.

"Okay, can everyone get their canoes in the water and get into them?" Jonny asked still smiling.

"Does that guy ever stop smiling? In fact, does anyone here stop smiling?" Jenny mused.

"Mmmhnnh …" Gibbs mumbled in response, still staring at the ME. Jenny decided to get her revenge. And this would not end well. They slid their canoes into the water.

"Good, good, everyone's canoes in!" Jonny yelled as he pulled out a motorboat. "Now get in 'em!"

"Tony!" Ziva screamed as he splashed her in the face as he stepped in the canoe.

"My bad?" He muttered.

"Tony…" Ziva started.

"Zivers, attempt not to kill your partner." Gibbs yelled from his boat, he and Jenny had got in fine, for the time being.

"AAAHAHAHAHAHA!" A female yelled from the canoe next to them. Everyone whipped his or her heads around.

"What the?" Tony looked into the water and saw a black mass. "IT'S ABBY!" He yelled at the rest. She didn't start coming up. "She isn't coming…." SPLASH! "Up." He looked down and McGee swimming down. Hoffman realized this and jumped down. McGee reached Abby first and grabbed her waist pulling her up. Hoffman tried to catch up but didn't make before they broke the surface. AS soon as they came up Gibbs and Jenny were pulling them up.

Abby wasn't letting go of McGee. "Timmy, you saved me." She mumbled into his chest.

"Um, yeah." He mumbled back.

"What happened?" Jonny yelled.

"She fell in." Gibbs yelled.

"Hmmm. Okay new plan. We'll just do this some other time." Jonny decided.

"Yes!" Tony whispered, hi-fiving Ziva. Gibbs and Jenny both raised eyebrows.

"Not yes?" Gibbs reached a hand up to Gibbs slap him, but Tony ducked. So Ziva head slapped him, but Tony wiped out and then pulled Ziva down with him.

"Ah, Tony!"

"Yes, Zee-VAH?" Tony stood up brushing him self off, then he pulled Ziva up or rather tried to. But Ziva flipped him back down. "Thanks, Ziva!" He said sarcastically.

"Boss, we're leaving." McGee muttered to Gibbs and Jenny. "I'm going to have Ducky check Abby out." Gibbs nodded. McGee and Abby slipped away.

Tony and Ziva were still wrestling on the ground. Gibbs looked at Jenny and she nodded. They both went in and pulled them up by their ears. "Ow!" They both screamed.

"Get over it." Gibbs murmured.

"Since when do I run a pre-school?" Jenny asked.

"Hey, I thought we were a kindergarten!" Tony yelled as he straighter his clothes.

"Exactly." They all started walking back and the CIA team followed. The boys all started talking about something, except for Hoffman. But things got ugly when Ziva and Jenny started to talk to the ME and field agent.

"I'm totally going to get Tony DiNozzo." Lynn Hoffman said. Ziva's hand went to her knife. But Jenny put a calming/ restraining hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, but that Gibbs is quite a cutie!" Redmond said. Jenny's hand twitched towards her own knife. Ziva did not restrain her friend, but Jenny had more self-control. But as Lisa and Lynn discussed the hotness of Gibbs and Tony. This of course, did not go over quite well.

"McProbie!" Tony yelled.

"Boss! Bosses?"

"McGee!"

"Right, Abby is all," McGee started before a pig-tailed mass came running at Gibbs. "good…."

"Whoa! Abs! Calm down."

"Timmy saved me! Now you can't headslap him!"

The CIA team looked at the team in total jealously.

**A/N: I have returned from the grave! Review! **


	8. Poker, wait, PSYCH!

**A/N: I'm back! Again! So, I'm going to work only on this story to finish it.**

**A/N2: This is super cracky, so you've been warned. **

**Thanks to startrekgirl.m for editing this! Read her stuff if you like Star Trek and scary angst stuff! She had to put up with my horrible grammar and spelling! So Thanks! **

**Chapter 8: Playing Poker, PSYCH! **

The NCIS team followed McGee and Abby back into the dorm.

Once in the dorm, Gibbs mumbled something about changing out of his now sopping wet clothes, Tony muttered something and McGee merely followed the two.

"Sooo… what should we do?" Abby exclaimed. "Hmm, we could paint each other's nails, do our hair…" Ziva's eyes were widening.

"Abby, how bout we just play a card game?" Jenny pointed out.

"Sounds fun!" Abby squealed. "Where should we play?"

"Right here is fine, yes?" Ziva asked.

"It's just fine, Ziva. Why don't we all go back to our rooms and change, and then come back here?" The two younger women nodded. They all walked to the girl side of the dorm. Ziva and Abby to their room and Jenny to hers.

"Wasn't that fun?" Abby squealed as she pulled out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. "That was amazing!" Then her shirt muffled her voice. "Timmy's a hero."

"Yeah, it was very brave of him. Are you ready?" Ziva asked.

"Yep!" Abby grinned. They walked out into the hall and found Jenny waiting for them. She was holding a box. "Whasat?"

"I decided make it more interesting." Jenny smirked. Abby's grin widened, but Ziva just looked confused. "Poker, Ziva. Poker."

"Oh." They ambled back to the common room.

The three women settled down in front of the empty fireplace. Jenny opened the box.

"Wow. That's an awesome set." Abby stared in awe at the beautiful box.

"Thank you, it was my dad's." Jenny looked down, not meeting anybody's eyes. Guilt washed over Abby.

"Sorry."

"It's fine." Jenny began to shuffle the dusty cards. She dealt until a pair of two cards lay in front of each person.

"What are you guys doing?" Tony had crept up behind them.

"Playing poker." Abby smiled.

"Deal me in!" He plopped down next to Ziva and 'accidently' smacked into her.

"Tony!" Ziva growled.

"What? It was an accident!"

"No it was not."

"Yeah it was."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes."

"HA! You agreed with me! Ha!" Tony squealed in excitement.

"I did not."

"Oh yes you did."

"No I did-" But she was cut off by Jenny.

"If you two do that again, I will tell them you need partner's therapy…" Both fell silent and nodded solemnly.

"Why do DiNozzo and David need to go to therapy?" Gibbs asked groggily.

"So many reasons." McGee muttered behind him.

"What was that, McMumble?" Tony piped up from the ground.

"Nothing."

Jenny just pointed at Tony as if that was explanation enough. But for Abby is wasn't. "Basically, Tony said yes, than Ziva said no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no…"

"ABS!" Gibbs thundered.

"What on earth is going here? A certain gentleman, well maybe not _gentle_man, possibly sir, no…." Ducky rambled.

Gibbs sat down next to Jenny and let his head fall into his chest. "How's ME? Or man?"

Ziva and Tony were arguing again. Abby had started up again, and McGee had fled.

Jenny and Gibbs simultaneously face-palmed.

**REVIEW!**

**A/N: Wow, I'm writing lots of author notes! Beside the point, please don't hate me for never updating. **


	9. Proper Use of 'oh my fricking god' Look

**A/N: Sorry this is both late and short. It's just a super short filler. And posting is going to be kinda spotty all month. I have sports and school and finals... Life kinda sucks right now but whatever. **

**Chapter 9: Proper Use of the 'Oh my fricking God' Look**

While everyone was arguing, rain had begun to fall out of the sky. Jenny and Gibbs were still face palmed and everyone else was jabbering away. The dorm door swung open with a crash and everyone looked up.

A hulking man walked in. "Hey I'm Jerry."

"Hi Jerry." Jenny stood up and walked over to him. "How can I help you?"

"Well, since your canoe lesson was canceled, they said that an extra therapy lesson would be okay." They all stared at him. "I know you have scared off your other therapist, so 2 things, 1. I brought back up. And 2. I'm locking us all in here. Josie!"

A stockier woman with long blonde hair walked in. "Hey y'all, I'm Josie!" The lock clicked ominously.

The team glanced around with an 'oh my fricking god what did we do to deserve this' lock.

"So everyone let's sit down and make a circle." Jerry's low voice boomed through out the room.

**REVIEW!**

**A/N: The more reviews I get the more I may post. So yeah. And ummm... what else? GO READ STARTREKGIRL.M! Sorry, she attacked me. :)**

**Quote:**

**"Umm that was actually a squatting hug. or a ...squg... if you will." Abby **


	10. Bouncin' and Smilin' All the Way

**How to Scare Therapists and Have Fun Doing it**

The team sat down nervously. Ducky pulled a chair over and leaned back into.

"Okay, Jerry… you can start." Ducky said.

"Actually I'll start!" Josie squealed. "Sooooo…. Everyone's going to introduce themselves…" She took a dramatic pause. "By saying your name, your age, your favorite color and your favorite animal or food."

There was a look of terror and amusement on all of the faces.

"Oh so like we did in school!" Abby piped up.

"Yep. I'll start." Josie took a deep breath as if it was the biggest moment of her life. "My name is Josie laRue, I'm 27 years old. My favoritest color in the world is razzmatazz purple! And I'm gonna do both. My favorite animal is a chipmunk and my favorite food is carrots!"

There was dead silence.

"You can go next." She turned to Tony who was next to her.

"Um, I'm Tony. My age is a number. I like the color… um… blue. And my favorite food is pizza."

"Snaps for Tony!" Josie yelled. She and Jerry snapped enthusiastically. The other snapped half-heartedly. "Now you go." She gestured towards McGee who was on her other side.

"My name is Tim."

"Elflord." Tony coughed.

"No, I'm not Elflord. Well actually, sort of. In a game though DiNozzo!" McGee yelled.

"McGee has a point Tony." Ziva said coolly.

"Stay out of it Zee-vah." Tony snapped.

"You are so…" Ziva switched to Hebrew in an instant. Jenny raised her eyebrows at Ziva.

"Whoa! Everyone calm down!" Jerry yelled.

He received 3 pointed glares that were worthy of Gibbs.

"Tim, Tony, Ziva. If you do not calm down I will assign you desk work for a week." Jenny said. The 3 calmed down and sat down.

"Okay, we'll skip names." Jerry boomed. "I think we need to work on anger. And releasing it in a safe manner."

"Yes, so everyone partner up." Josie trilled.

"May I go to bed? I am quite old and this is too much excitement for me." Ducky asked sweetly.

"Yes, yes. That's fine." Ducky smiled and gave his coworkers a pitying glance before walking away.

"Okay, are we all partnered up?" Jerry glanced around. "Josie do you have the pillows?"

"Yep. Right here." Josie walked around handing the pillows to Tony, Tim and Gibbs. "Hold these in front of your body." The three men all glanced at each other. "Now your partners are going to punch the pillow and say what things you've done that make them mad."

Tony and Gibbs's eyes widened as they looked at their partners. Ziva and Jenny shared an evil grin.

McGee seemed quite happy with Abby, who was not all that violent.

"Okay, begin." Josie said with a squeal.

Abby tentatively walked up and poked the pillow.

Ziva was dancing around the pillow, while Tony flinched and screamed.

"Jethro, I don't want to hurt you. You're old." Jenny smirked at him.

"But so are…"

"No, actually I'm younger than you."

"Well, bring it on." Gibbs braced himself for the impact.

Jenny began punching the pillow with all of her strength. Gibbs staggered back but regained his footing. Jenny smirked at him.

There was an almighty thud, which caused everyone to look for the source of the noise. Jenny and Gibbs, more experienced agents, grabbed for their service weapons that had been taken away (for everyone's safety). Abby had launched her self at McGee in fear.

Tony and Ziva were both sprawled across the floor, Ziva on top of Tony. It appeared that Tony had moved the pillow at the last second, much like a matador, and all of the force of Ziva was thrown at him.

"DuhNozzo," Gibbs muttered.

Josie and Jerry both scowled, or however two insanely happy scowl, which looks like a cross between constipation and the Cheshire Cat.

As Ziva stood, the others could hear muttering from the Israeli that sounded like, "Paperclip," and "So dead." Tony's face paled as he scrambled up.

"Now Ziva," began Josie in a schoolmarm tone, "That wasn't very nice. You shouldn't hurt your coworkers."

"Yeah, Zee-vah," Tony hissed. Gibbs reached over and smacked Tony on the head.

There were gasps of shock from the two therapists. And sniggers from the NCIS team at Tony exaggerated face of pain.

"Boss…" Tony whined in a high-pitched voice. Ziva shot an elbow into his side.

"Agents Dah-veed and Gibbs!" Jerry shouted indignantly. "That is not appropriate!"

"It's Officer." Ziva corrected coldly, "I'm an officer, from Mossad, Israeli intelligence,"

Jerry nodded, his smile still planted firmly on his face, "That's very nice. But that doesn't change the fact that you and Agent Gibbs need sensitivity training. I will recommend you to Dr. Lowell. You will have you session tomorrow, right after breakfast."

"Ziva, I don't think he knows what Mossad means," Tony murmured in her ear.

"Well, I think we should split up into groups of partners, are these the groups you work in?" Josie asked.

"Yep!" Abby said happily. That was 2/3s true. She and McGee often worked together. And Tony and Ziva were partners. But Gibbs and Jenny didn't, they used to, but not anymore. They were shooting irritated glares Abby's way, but she decided that if it was the last thing she did she would get Jibbs together… and Tiva.

"Okay, I think we should start with Tony and Ziva. You seem to have the most problems in the group," Jerry said. "We will meet you in the girls room, if that is all right. Please come in," he glanced at his watch, "in two minutes."

The two therapists walked/ bounced to the room.

Tony and Ziva both had deer in the headlights looks on their faces as they turned to the rest.

"We have issues?" Tony spat.

"Uh huh," Gibbs nodded, a rare face of amusement playing across his face.

"Jenny…. Gibbs…." Ziva whined.

"You guys should start heading in." McGee said with a cheeky smile.

The two glares he got would've frozen hell.

Irritated, the two agents turned towards the girl's rooms. Then Jenny yelled out, "Wait, Ziva come back here."

Ziva turned around, and Tony trailed behind her.

"Weapons?" Jenny held out her hand. Ziva rolled her eyes and groaned while pulling out two knifes. There was an audible gulp from Tony, whose eyes were bulging comically. Jenny raised an eyebrow, and Ziva bent over and pulled a knife out of her sock. "Now off you go."

As the unlucky two made the dreaded walk to the girl's room. Abby leant over to the leather couch and began beating out a slow, unnerving beat.

Tony broke into a coughing fit. "Lord of the Rings, Two Towers."

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked and Tony sped up, like a horse hit with a hot poker.

Once the door snapped shut, McGee adopted a face of confusion, "Wait, I thought they took all of our weapons,"

**Everyone put down the pitchfork and torches! Don't injure the writer. I know that this is so far over due. I don't think I have enough excuses for not updating this story at all. Um… well… I have had school, and soccer and golf. And errrr… I've been focusing on my Castle stories (if you like Castle, you should read them). And my NCIS plot bunnies/ muses were taking a vacation. **

**All of you wonderful reviewers should thank Madtrek for beating, poking, headslapping and prodding me (literally and figuratively) to keep writing NCIS. **

**Also, I can't promise updates. I'll try to keep working on this but I won't promise anything. **

**Please review. **

**Lots of Love,**

**E**


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